Pansy and The Kissing Cupboard
by Draco's Felix
Summary: Betrothed since birth or no, the one thing Pansy Parkinson wouldn't tolerate was cheating. No. If Draco was going to play that game, then so would she. And she would play dirty. And who better to make Draco wildly jealous than the infamous Harry Potter? Unfortunately, things don't go quite to plan... light-hearted little one-shot! :3 Not what you think. Or maybe it is... ;D


**In light of a possibly-homophobic comment someone left, please don't read this if you're, well, homophobic :) Also, this isn't a McSerious fic... OBviously ;) (You read that in Snape's voice, didn't you? ;) Anyway...)**

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Breakfast at the Slytherin table, and Pansy was already brooding. Betrothed since birth or no, the one thing she wouldn't tolerate was cheating. No. If Draco was going to play that game, then so would she. And she would play dirty.

The problem was that Pansy had never been a patient girl. She wanted revenge and she wanted it _now. _If she had known who the disgusting _badword badword VERYBADWORD_ was, Pansy would have hexed her into the next millennium. Unfortunately, Pansy's 'reliable source' hadn't got that information yet, only saying she knew Draco was cheating, and so did half the school.

Which meant plan B.

She flashed Draco that charming little smile which made her look naive, and then graced her eyes around the Great Hall casually.

Except it wasn't casual at all: Pansy was fishing.

Her mind clocked away lists of potential suitables. Who would make Draco jealous? Remind him that two could play that game? Nobody from Slytherin... she'd been through all of them, no surprises to be found here. Hufflepuffs, the poor dears, were laughable. It'd have to be a Ravenclaw. There was Terry Boot... he was good looking enough. Cute, even. Smart, obviously. But he simply wasn't _threatening_ enough. Too... _nice_. Not arrogant enough.

Arrogance. Yes. That's what she needed. Someone to engage the chase and gloat about getting Malfoy's girl. Now, where could she find arrogance?

Gryffindor.

Oh Merlin... was she really going to go _there_? She glanced at Draco... smirking away as usual, gloating like his life depended on it. Eurgh. She would do what she must. Gryffindor it was.

She scanned the Lions table. Max Vlaine, perhaps, he was _gorgeous. _Not to mention older than Draco, which would make the Malfoy furious. However, he had a girlfriend and lacked the makings of a cheating scamp. Too difficult. Her eyes continued on. Cormac McLaggen. Oh yes, he was practically _drowning _in his arrogance. Small problem of his obsession with Granger though... even if the Mudblood was obviously besotted with Ginger.

Weasley. Pansy nearly threw up her breakfast at the thought of making out with him. Oh Merlin, that would be traumatic... she'd rather make out with Potter!

Somewhere in Pansy's mind, a tiny light bulb lit up. She'd hit gold.

If there was one person on this Earth that Malfoy hated, it was _Potter. _

In fact, Draco was staring at the Gryffindor right now, face full of murderous concentration... not that _that _was anything new. He'd want to kill him a lot more after Pansy was finished, she'd make absolute sure of it.

* * *

Pansy had made all her preparations and checked them at least a dozen times.

Her years of practice at manipulation and precise timing meant that _nothing _could go wrong.

Ginger and Granger were preoccupied elsewhere, they wouldn't be interfering tonight. She had sent Potter a delicately written little letter telling him to meet her at exactly half past seven in Pansy's second floor secret broom cupboard, or as she called it, her kissing cupboard. Draco had been sent an almost identical letter, but with his arrival time stated at exactly thirty-two minutes past seven. Both letters were dipped in a special potion which would inhibit their small male minds temporarily impaired, meaning they would follow the instructions on the notes precisely.

For the most part, the infamous kissing cupboard was barely used anymore. It had seen its golden days before Draco and Pansy had come to terms with the true meaning and length of time involved in 'betrothal to be married'. But tonight, she was standing in her dark haven once more, poised for attack.

True enough, shabby hair and funny glasses arrived at exactly half past seven. Before he could light up his wand, Pansy through herself at him. Her lips never missed.

What she wasn't expecting was for him to respond. Pinned to the wall of a cupboard, Harry Potter was kissing back. And even more unexpectedly, he was _good. _Where had he learnt to kiss like that?

Suddenly, the door was thrown wide open... the second half of Pansy's plan falling perfectly into place.

Potter threw her back, breaking the kiss, his face the epitome of horror and confusion.

At first, Pansy thought her plan had worked marvellously...even better than expected. Draco's face crumbled, and he stalked away, feet stomping so angry on the floor that Pansy thought he might fall through into the corridor below. Then, things started to make less sense. Potter ran after him.

He was screaming for Draco to stop, and what sounded like apologising.

Well, that was new.

Pansy watched them from a distance, growing more and more confused.

Draco appeared to be... no, it couldn't be. He wasn't _crying _was he? In front of _Potter_?

A great sob escaped their end of the corridor and Pansy nearly choked. Just when she thought she'd seen it all, the two enemies embraced.

They were kissing.

"_Great holy moly tentacles of the Hogwarts lake squid monster!_" She muttered under her breath.

Somewhere inside her mind, a rather large light bulb lit up.

Oh. Ohhhhh. Well that explained _a lot_. No wonder Potter kissed so well.

It took Pansy a couple of minutes to actually process and accept the rest of the information. She wasn't sure if the passionately kissing Potter and Malfoy were helping or not.

Finally able to move from her shock-rooted spot, she sighed and shut the door of her broom cupboard. It seemed its glory days were not over after all.

Walking away in the direction opposite to her previous love interests and turning the corner, she spotted the arrogant outline of Cormac McLaggen swaggering towards her.

Not one to miss out on prime opportunities, Pansy put on her pout, raised her skirt a little higher and gasped theatrically as she "fell over". Maybe she'd get lucky this time. After all, the secret was out now: Gryffindors were pretty good kissers... if they'd been taught by a Slytherin, of course!

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**A/N: Just something quick I wanted to write... Pansy is often such a minor character but I love her! And I am working on the next chapters of The Black Vial and The Extraordinary Life of Rose Weasley, I promise! Love you all, thanks for reading, tell me what you thought or something :) P.s. Max Vlaine is an OP I made up because Oliver Wood would (wood wood... sorry, that amused me) have left in the later years, and I really didn't want to write a story where Pansy was thirteen and her kissing cupboard had already seen it's glory days... yeah, that would have been odd... XD -Felix :D**

**FURTHER NOTE: Originally, this fic was set as Pansy/Harry in the description. I don't know what I was thinking because obviously a couple of Pansy/Harry shippers hate me now. I apologise. I have amended the description, it now says Draco/Harry.  
**


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